


Anger Management

by cress26



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:37:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5937073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cress26/pseuds/cress26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz's confrontation with Red after a business meeting gone wrong brings terrible consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Elements of sexual violence and rape. If these subjects bother you, do NOT read any further!  
> Thank you.

Liz sat on the marble island of the open kitchen in Red’s current safe house, waiting for him to return from a meeting with important associates. They had a date for lunch and knowing about his sweet tooth, she’d already brought him his favorite chocolate muffin from the bakery next door to the post office. Unknown to her colleagues, they’d been in a serious relationship for a few weeks now. One day she had simply kissed him after tiring of their continued cat-and-mouse game. She’d been attracted to him right from the start. If he hadn’t instantly turned her life upside down, she probably would have given in to him a lot earlier. She’d never thought she would fall so deeply in love, and all-consuming after Tom, but here she was.  
Red returned her intense feelings; he loved her, worshipped her and pampered her in every imaginable way. He was such an experienced and skilled lover too, who fulfilled her every desire and introduced her to pleasures she never knew existed. Most of all, he made her happy; made her smile and laugh, and she blossomed under his attention, love and care. He made her feel alive, confident and strong.

Red was late and Liz tried not to worry. He didn’t fill her in on the details but she knew his meeting was important and vital to his business. So she simply assumed it all took longer than intended.  
When she finally heard footsteps and voices from outside, her face lit up and excitedly, she watched the entry door through the open kitchen door and hall.  
The door eventually burst open and Red marched in, Dembe following suit. Visibly annoyed and angry, Red spoke on the phone.

“I know it’s a mess Kate. It was a bloody trap. When we arrived Terry and his team were already dead and we lost Baz in the shooting.”

He walked through the hall and entered the kitchen, but completely ignored Liz’ presence. She cast a worried and inquiring look at Dembe, who had remained in the hall to give them privacy, and he just frowned at her and shook his head. 

“I know this is the third incident, Kate. I don’t know who’s so determined to undermine my business, but you can start digging their grave.”

Red hurled his fedora onto the kitchen table and his coat carelessly met the same fate. He reached for the bottle of scotch in the cabinet and poured himself a large portion and gulped it down in one swallow, then immediately refilled his glass and repeated the action, raising his voice.

“Just clean up that mess and get out of there. We’re safe here for now.”

He poured himself another glass and Liz winced at how he was able to swallow the scotch so straight-faced all over again.

“Don’t lecture me about my drinking habits, Kate.”

He finally turned to Liz and acknowledged her for the first time.

“Baz was my friend for twenty years and I failed to protect him. It’s my way of dealing with the grief.”

Red then simply hung up after his words and carelessly dropped the phone on the counter. When he poured himself another glass, Liz jumped off the island and approached him carefully.

She had never seen him this upset before. Apparently the meeting had gone terribly wrong and Red had lost good people. Anger flashed in his eyes and desire for revenge reflected in his features. His face, usually gentle and adoring in her presence, now hard and callous, beyond recognition. This was the dangerous criminal the world feared and she already had wondered when she would have to face him herself for the first time. She had only seen glimpses of him like this before, when he had killed the Stewmaker in cold blood. She had heard tales of his bloody carnage after the Anslo Garrick incident. She knew about his harsh interrogation techniques too. This was the dangerous side of him, the monster within. Would she be able to take him out from his realm of death and darkness?

Liz watched him finish his drink and when he lifted the bottle yet again, she kept him from it, grasped the bottle instead and put it back down. 

“Red, please don’t … “

He regarded her disapprovingly.

“This is none of your business, Elizabeth.”

His body language signaled the fact that he wouldn’t tolerate another objection when he took the bottle and poured himself another glass.

“Getting yourself drunk can’t be a solution, Red. Let me help. There must be another way to deal with your pain and guilt and…”

She stopped talking when without warning he grabbed the front of her blouse, flipped open the top button and ran his finger across the exposed skin. He leered at her breasts and then drained his glass.

“Oh yes, there is another way, sweetheart.”

Unhurried he put the glass back on the counter and took the bottle of scotch in one hand, while his other hand grabbed her by her wrist and held her so tight she couldn’t move it. For a moment she thought he would break it.

“I’ll show you.”

Red forcefully dragged Liz into the hall, they passed Dembe and Red took a sip right from the bottle.

“Raymond, don’t! Don’t do this to her!”

Red completely ignored him and pulled Liz further along. When she looked at Dembe questioningly he simply lowered his gaze and avoided looking at her.  
Too surprised to even consider to resist Red’s ruthless treatment, she let herself haul up the stairs. The tight grip on her wrist hurt and would certainly leave bruises. She could only imagine what his intentions would be once they reached his bedroom.

He pushed her inside and closed the door. He placed the scotch down on the bedside table, then yanked her down into a kneeling position on the floor. Only then did he let go of her wrist. Liz yelped in pain and her eyes widened in fear when he loosened his belt. What was he going to do to her?

“You either take it or you better leave, Elizabeth. Now.”

He gave her this one chance to back out. He looked down at her mercilessly and she looked up at him unshaken, despite knowing this wasn’t going to be pretty. He would take out all his anger, frustration and sadness on her. It would be rough and it would hurt, but she knew he needed it. If this was an outlet for his dark emotions and to keep him from his self-destructive drinking, she would go through it, she would do this for him, because she loved him.

“I’ll stay…”

Red just nodded and stepped closer to her. He unbuckled his belt, pulled down his zipper and let his pants fall to the floor. His briefs stood out hard in front of him, his cock barely confined in them. He pulled his briefs to the floor and his big erect cock popped out.

His hands pulled at her head until her lips were only inches apart from the bulbous head and she shuddered as he placed his hot cock on her lips. Her wet tongue came out in response and she felt him jump.

“Now suck it real nice and slow.”

Obedient she let her lips close around the head of his cock, sucking him and sliding her tongue over it.

"Real good, suck a little more!"

He pushed his hips forward, burying the big head deeper until it was swallowed in the hot confines of her mouth. It felt so good and he could feel drops of cum leaking out.

“Deeper!”

She felt Red’s hands on the side of her head tighten, forcing her to take him deeper. He pulled her onto his cock, willed her to take it to the back of her throat. Her lips were wrapped tightly around him, stretched wide to accept its girth. He pulled his cock out from her throat and withdrew it from her lips only to plunge it back deep inside moments later, establishing a fast rhythm.

Her throat was forced to accept his erect cock deep into her and Liz desperately tried to relax. She closed her eyes as she felt his balls slap noisily against her chin.  
She hoped it would be over soon when she heard him grunt in pleasure but instead felt him go even deeper. It felt like a sword was pushed into her throat. She began to gag and choke and he pulled out, his cock glistening with her saliva.

His eyes watched her. There was no compassion in them, just wild lust and hot anger. She knew that he was going to do whatever he wanted without mercy.

His fingers dug into her upper arm and he pulled her into a standing position.

“I’m better… going to fuck you now.”

His speech was slurred and the smell of alcohol was on his breath, making her sick. This was slowly turning into a real nightmare.

#####

“Undress!”

Liz opened her blouse and her pants and removed them both, stalling for time. Red took another huge sip from the bottle of scotch, all the while impatiently manhandling his own cock.

“Hurry!”

She opened her bra and let it fall to the floor. She was far from being ready for whatever sexual assault he had planned for her. He was getting more and more inebriated by the minute. 

“Away with the panties too.”

He looked so cold, so detached, so lost in a haze of arousal and drunkenness, it started to scare her, but she stripped them off nonetheless.

"On your hand and knees, I want to fuck you from behind; your ass in the air, spread open and wait."

She followed his instructions and placed herself on all fours on the bed, waiting in vain for any kind of foreplay on his part.

Liz felt the bed shift under Red’s weight and he positioned himself on his knees behind her. He spread his scruffy thighs to each side of her up turned buttocks, his hands gripping her small waist ruthlessly. Without any further ado he aligned his cock with her opening.

She wasn’t aroused, not even wet but he didn’t seem to care. The head of his cock had just barely entered her and spread her pussy wide. It already hurt and it was only the head; he kept pushing in further.

Liz was terrified by now. The same organ, which usually catapulted her into orgasmic bliss, was about to rip her to pieces. He was so big, no way in hell she could sustain this imminent painful rape.

Yes, she had agreed to all this, but never in her wildest dreams she had thought he would go so far and deliberately hurt her, much less in this way. 

Red tried to penetrate her to no avail. He poked erratically against her and struggled to get deeper. His hands felt like a vise on her hips, trapping the tender flesh in an attempt to merge their bodies together. His movements became incredibly uncomfortable, the pain from stretching beyond bearable. Just when Liz decided to try to fight him off, to not surrender to his intentions, he let go of her, got up and staggered to the nightstand, growling and cursing in frustration. 

“Don’t you dare move an inch.”

He opened the drawer and grabbed some lube. Knowing his size, Red always kept some extra lube ready, just in case. He hardly ever needed to use it though, usually just one look from him was enough to soak women’s panties.

Red squirted plenty on his hand and spread the lube around his cock. He took another sip from the liquor bottle, then crawled back behind her, wiping his hand clean on the bed sheets.

One part of her felt helpless. She clearly had missed the opportunity to get away and end all this, but the other part of her still intended to help him deal with his condition and today’s events.

She hugged the pillow tightly, willingly bracing herself for the violation of her pussy, subjecting her body to his will by choice, as he bucked against her opening once more.

His cock entered her pussy with one quick and powerful stroke, feeding every hard inch of him into her. A groan of pain escaped from her lips as he bruised her insides. Despite the lube, she was nowhere near ready for this.

His fat cock pushed relentlessly into her to stretch her open, leaving her no time to adjust. He grasped her hips painfully tight and pulled her back every time his huge cock slammed into her.

He put all his strength behind each thrust. He’d pull out until only his cockhead was still inside her then thrust into her again with the force. He slapped her ass again and again in his wild lust, the pain radiating over her cheeks. 

Liz clamped her inner muscles tightly around his cock, milking it, hoping desperately it would make him cum faster, but it only succeeding to entice Red to fuck her harder and deeper and slapping her ass even more to get her to fuck back.

Long minutes passed and Liz felt faint. Seemed his stamina was extraordinary today; maybe it was the alcohol? Relentlessly his cock beat its way into her body, bruising and battering her cervix with each thrust as he plunged deep and hard inside of her body. There was nothing she could do except hang in there and submit.

She moaned as she felt the cock inside her grow in size. She knew that he must be getting close. Finally, his cock twitched and he grunted and roared out his pleasure like an animal. Powerful blasts of cum shot out, filling her pussy. He slapped her ass one last time and pulled out.

"That was a great fuck!”

Exhausted he collapsed beside her, immediately passing out.

#####

Every inch of her body hurt when she tried to move. She cast a side glance to him. He still wore his socks and dress shirt and reeked of alcohol and sweat. It all made her sick. She moaned and rose slowly, lowering her feet over the side of the bed and padded into the bathroom on shaky legs. 

She opened the glass door to the large luxurious walk-in shower stall and sat down on the stone tiled bench. She turned on the controls and hot water spilled on her from several attached shower heads. 

She took the portable shower head and carefully washed away his seed from between her legs. If only the memories of the event could be wiped off as easily. 

The warm water was soothing and she carefully examined herself, slipping a finger along and inside her bruised folds, finding only a tiny smattering of blood from torn skin. The lower abdominal pain from hitting her uterus was uncomfortable but bearable for now. Bruises from his fingers on her wrists, hips and thighs however, looked ugly. The discoloring and the slight swelling was very disturbing. She would be sore for quite a few days.

Yes, she had agreed to his drunken aggression, sacrificed herself to help him relieve his anger and pain, but it was a difficult price to pay. The same man who usually worshipped her in every way, who loved to pamper her, who would give his life for her, had forced himself on and into her in the cruel manner only men can perform. He had taken her like a wild animal, but it wasn’t the physical pain that hurt so much. It was the humiliation, the experience of his dark side. She had learned the hard way what monster he really hid behind all his love and devotion and what she had seen, had frightened her. He’d never really dealt with all his loss and emotional pain. For decades he’d been strong in order to survive. Now he had shared his pain and his rage with her and it hurt almost more than her own. 

It didn’t help that he’d been terribly drunk and that it had made him incalculable in his actions. It also didn’t help that he was at least aware enough to use lubrication on her. It didn’t help to tell herself over and over again that she had agreed, that she even had more than one opportunity to fight him off, to end the assault.

Knowing she was drained, quaky and unable to think any longer without her eyes filling with tears, she leaned against the tiled wall and pulled up her legs, knees-to-chest. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her arms, allowing the tears to come, to let it all out. The warm spray and steam enveloped her fully, the steady rhythm of the falling water swallowed up her soft quivering sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

Red woke up disoriented and feeling sick. He rose too quickly, broke out in a cold sweat and instantly felt nauseated. He barely made it in time to the bathroom where he dropped down in front of the toilet and threw up in many heavy surges. He retched and coughed until he was sure he got it all out of his system, then flushed the toilet and carefully attempted to get up. He felt intolerably miserable and could hardly control his shaky limbs. He made it to the sink and reluctantly looked in the mirror above it. Instantly, he knew that it was a mistake when his disgusted reflection glared back at him, telling him exactly what kind of mess he was in. 

He rinsed his mouth with water as best he could but the sour taste wouldn’t leave. He searched the bathroom cabinet for mouthwash and gargled.

The feeling of nausea slowly subsided for the most part, although he felt feverish. He touched his forehead; it was indeed warm. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled and tried to clear his head. Only then did he notice that the shower was running.

The steam of the shower had fogged up the glass, but he could make out enough of her form to recognize her. He opened the door tensely and stepped inside with her. Looking down at her huddled trembling form on the bench, he was horrified by the sight of her body laced with bruises and he sobered up straightaway.

He stared at her, alarmed, while single memories came flashing back to him. Baz’ dead body drenched in its own blood, so much anger, drinking far more scotch than it was healthy, Lizzie, Lizzie gagging on his cock, him pounding inexorably into her from behind, slapping her ass and the sick twisted pleasure he got out of it all. 

He felt like throwing up again.

What had he done?

He kneeled down beside her and slid a hand beneath her chin to lift her face. She gave a startled shriek and instinctively flinched away from him. She hadn’t registered his presence in the shower. He dropped his hand at once, distressed by her reaction.

“Lizzie …”

Her hair was slicked down, darkened by the water, her eyes and nose red from all the crying and she was shaking so much despite the warm water. She looked at him with eyes wide open, so scared and vulnerable, it broke his heart.

He had never felt so much shame and self-hatred before as in this moment. How could he have hurt the one person he loved more than life itself this bad? 

“Lizzie …”

She turned away, couldn’t look at him, as more of her tears mingled with the spray of the shower.

He didn’t dare touch her again. Helplessly he watched her, sure her broken body and mind would haunt him for the rest of his life.

#####

Red removed his sticky dress shirt and the socks he was still wearing and reached for the shower gel. He soaped himself up quickly, washing away at least the external evidence of the day. He desperately thought of ways to coax her out of the shower without hurting her even more.

Liz caught and sniffed the familiar scent of his shower gel which to her was so him and always conveyed comfort and love. She closed her eyes and let the smell consume her and she knew she needed to calm down.

When she opened her eyes again he kneeled beside her once more, looking at her, watching her.

“I’m sorry, Lizzie. I’m just so sorry …”

For a long endless moment, she saw his mouth quiver and the anguish in his eyes mirrored her own. She burst into renewed tears again.

He reached for her hand and she squeezed his fingers in return with surprising urgency. He stared at her bruised swollen wrist, immensely distressed by the fierceness of her injuries.

“We need to get out of here, Lizzie.”

She just nodded, clinging to his hand while she moaned as she struggled to get up. Her body felt so sore everywhere.

Red turned off the faucets, opened the shower door and cautiously led her out.

He wrapped her body in a large fluffy towel and fetched a smaller one just for her hair. He kept his touches light and restrained himself from hurting her again when he helped her dry herself off. Her bright red backside made him wince.

She looked so awful from all the crying and yet she looked like the most precious sight in the world to him. Why oh why did he hurt her like that?

“Lizzie, do you need a doctor?”

She shook her head no.

“Are you….bleeding?”

He almost choked on his words.

Again she shook her head.

“Will you let me help you? May I take care of your injuries?”

Her mind screamed no, told her to run from him as far as possible, but her heart longed for him in a desperate way, needed him to put her back together and so she just nodded.

“God, Lizzie, I was so horrible to you …”

“You were drunk, Red.”

Her voice was so small, so frail.

“That’s no excuse… Lizzie, I raped you …”

She couldn’t suppress a sob.

“No sorry, no apology, nothing can make up for what I’ve done to you.”

He couldn’t deal with her tears. He wanted to hug her, wanted to crush her against his chest and never let her go. Never. He wished he could just erase her memories again, to free her from the hurt and pain, to see her smile and laugh again, and to see her love for him back in her eyes. 

He turned away, afraid he would touch her if he didn’t. She wasn’t ready for any physical contact just yet.

“I’ll get some clothes for us, all right, Lizzie? I’ll be back in a minute.”

When he returned he was already dressed in dark sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. He had brought her a t-shirt as well and a pair of his softest boxer shorts.  
She shivered when he pulled away the towel and he helped her slip inside the shirt. She took the boxer shorts from him but looked troubled. Despite the softness she knew it would be uncomfortable on her behind. 

“Let me apply some lotion there, Lizzie and I’ll give you something for the pain too, but first I need to blow dry your hair.

“Will you let me do that?”

He kept asking for her permission. She was fragile and sensitive like a butterfly and it was his responsibility not to destroy her even more than he already had.

She just nodded.

The warm air of the hair dryer made her shiver again and even more so when he used his finger to keep her hair in place. She leaned against his shoulder for a moment, breaking through his self- imposed barriers. He dropped the dryer into the sink. Without another word he scooped her up and carried her in his arms out of the bathroom, and into the next guestroom. Carefully he deposited her in the middle of the bed onto the sheets. He pulled out some extra sheets from the closet and wrapped them around her. Tired and exhausted she curled up in a fetal position.

“I’ll be back in a moment, Lizzie …”

She couldn’t explain why but she needed him to take care of her and she hoped he would hurry back.

He came back fast, carried several items and placed them down on the nightstand.

“Here, that will help…”

He handed her a glass of water and an ibuprofen. She swallowed the pill, finished the entire glass of water and handed the glass back to him.

He retrieved an ice pack, wrapped it in a tea towel before applying it to her wrist. Liz flinched as the ice pressed against the swollen bruises but she felt a sense of relief when the pain lessened considerably.

“Turn onto your stomach, Lizzie and let me take care of your backside too.”

He kneeled down on the bed beside her. Liz hesitated for only a second, then turned. Her red cheeks stung and he swallowed hard at the sight.

“God, what have I done?”

He reassured himself with a long deep intake of breath before he poured a generous amount of soothing cooling lotion on each cheek and gently started spreading it with both hands. Some lotion dribbled toward her butt crack and he slid his long fingers along each side to catch it before it ran in. She felt him tremble, his movements were timid and unsteady, but it felt so good. She sighed, closed her eyes and relaxed into the pillow.

His gentleness swept her away. He made an effort to be affectionate and caring and his tender touches overwrote the memories of the violent ones. It helped to build some trust back to him.

Red’s need to make her feel good increased when he noticed how stress-free she welcomed the contact. Looking at her battered body he formed an idea. 

#####

Peeling away the ice for a moment, he began softly kissing each and every bruise on her wrist, hoping the softness of his lips would somehow heal them.

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing them better.”

She let out another sigh when he continued to press his lips against every mark he found on her body. He kept his kisses tender, easy and unhurried. 

She watched his face and saw his pained expression when he reached the horrific bruises from his digging and clawing fingers on her hips.

“I’m so sorry, Lizzie…”

He kept kissing her skin and she couldn’t help the sweet tug of approaching arousal. He elicited goose bumps everywhere and he cautioned himself to go slow.

“Turn on your back, Lizzie, please…”

His voice was hoarse and tremulous. There was only one bruised part of her body left and he intended to make her feel better there as well.

She turned, unaware of the purpose and he continued to kiss the bruises spreading from her hips down to her thighs. She wasn’t even aware that she had unconsciously spread her legs to give him better access. 

The angry red folds of her sex made him stop. So much self-distain and hatred flooded him. This could never happen again. Never. He recalled Dembe telling him not to do it and he made a mental note to order Dembe to intervene otherwise in the future, with necessary force if needed. Because it had happened before. There was some random prostitute. Also, Luli had endured the same treatment once and their relationship had never fully recovered afterwards. This couldn’t happen with his Lizzie!

“Forgive me, please forgive me, Lizzie …”

She gasped when he moved between her legs. Holding her gaze, he slowly lowered his mouth and kissed her along her folds on both sides  
.   
She watched him, struggling to decide if she should let him continue. She was so sore down there and wasn’t ready for any more action despite her growing arousal.

“Let me do this for you. I won’t hurt you again, I promise. I’ll just kiss and lick you and make you feel good.”

He bent down once more and kissed her. She moaned softly and parted her legs further, surprised how much she wanted it too. His tongue delved inside her, then he licked her tentatively but extensively. He dedicated extra attention to her clit, wiggling his tongue around until he found the hard bundle of nerves. He circled it gently then flicked over it hard, tight and quick and he never stopped.

Her moans turned into gasps and within moments Liz convulsed heavily and her small cries of pleasure filled the room. Her body went limp and overwhelmed she teared up all over again. Completely misreading the situation, Red pulled away helplessly.

This wasn’t fixable. She would never forgive him, her tears proved it. He had ruined it all. He was a monster and she deserved so much better.

Red rose from the bed and paced the room.

“I’m not a good man, Lizzie. The things I’ve done in the last three decades, the things I’ve seen… death, destruction and devastation. Even in the bright light of day there’s a darkness inside of me that’s so all-consuming; it has pierced my heart, invaded my body and controls my mind.

"And then I was given your love. You found the shredded remnants of my humanity inside me and put them back together. You are the torch in my darkness. But I don’t deserve you, because your love can’t prevent me from losing control after all. I tried so hard to hide it, but I’m still imprisoned in grayness and always will be. It’s who I am.”

Looking down at her, he silently worked his mouth, shaping words and finding the courage to say them.

“I’ve literally slaughtered men for doing the things I did to you. How can I still respect myself? I did the unforgivable. I hurt you, the one good thing that has ever happened to me. How can you possibly want to stay with me any longer?"

He stared at her defeated, lost and sad.

“I’ll understand if you want to separate.”

A frisson of fear found the center of her heart at his words. No, no, no, no, he was not going to end them. He was not going to walk away! This was not what she wanted.   
Liz got up from the bed and approached him quickly. 

“I’ve long accepted who and what you are, Red. I had more than one opportunity to prevent you doing this to me, but I choose not to. I could have walked away at any given point today too, yet I stayed. I knew what I was doing!”

She took his face in both her hands and raised her eyes imploringly to his.

“Yes, I’m scared now and hurt and upset but throughout it all, I was giving myself to you willingly because … I love you.”

“I love you so much, Red.”

He really didn’t deserve her and it broke him completely. He closed his eyes as tears spilled down his cheeks at her words and she pulled him back onto the bed. She pillowed his head against her bosom as he wept uncontrollably for all that was lost, for all his pain and grief, for all regrets, all his anger and all lives taken. She let him cry against her for a long time and her heart ached so much for him. She wondered if he had ever allowed himself to cry before, in any case this was cathartic and he needed it. Whispering softly and comforting into his ear over and over again how much she loved him, she drew him back from the abyss eventually. 

“I love you too, Lizzie.”

He pulled her close against him, not willing to let her go. Physically and emotionally drained both fell asleep in each other arms, their love stronger than any darkness and pain. They would overcome it all, as long as they were together.

The torch was still burning.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta reader heatherpeters for all her support and encouragement on this!!!


End file.
